Reason #229 Why I Miss My Parents
Moms just sent me this.
I often wonder what it would’ve been like to grow up around, and with, other mixed people. Apparently my sister and I are a generation (or is it two…?) off. Bummer. Instead, I got labeled with monikers like the Fortune Cookie in high school. Wrong type of Asian, idiots.
strange.rs: Profile: Ilana Garon →
New profile in the series I’m working on with my friend is up. Meet Ilana! Photo by Bryan Formhals Words by Barbara Sueko McGuire Ilana Garon is the smartest person I know, in every way possible. But more than just being hyper-intelligent, she’s also hilarious, full of heart and intensely loyal. Which is why she’s an amazing and intuitive high school…
Words Speak Loudly Enough
Tonight someone I love very much yelled, “Fuck it” at me on the phone three times in a row. I’ve never had anyone yell at me like that. Unfortunately, it doesn’t make me love him any less. Which, if anything, makes me love me a little less.
Mario Brother Located
“So he tells everyone his name is Rocky, but I found out it’s Luigi.”—Overheard customer conversation at work today
Tips on How to Eat at a Restaurant, Continued...
5.) Never, never, wave your hand at your server like you’re in school. Yes, I understand it seems a logical way to get his or her attention, but really, it’s irritating, not to mention superfluous. We know when you need something from us and we’ll get there as soon as we can. 6.) When the bill arrives, don’t pick up the check presenter, look at it, then close and set it on...
Customers I Love →
Now this, my friends, is an example of an individual who knows how to eat at a restaurant. I served her yesterday and she was sweet, lovely and kind, and the energy was reciprocated. It warms my heart to know she had a good time.
Tips on How to Properly Eat at a Restaurant
1.) Unless your server belligerently fucks up, and I mean is so daft she/he serves you the wrong food, cold, doesn’t smile at all, gives you the incorrect check, never once refills your water and tells you you were fat, ugly and should go fuck yourself, tip 18%. ONE-EIGHT. If she/he is good, tip 20% or even more. This can easily be figured out: Take the total bill, for example $45.67....
Rejection Letter of the Day (#12)
Dear Barbara, Thank you very much for the opportunity to consider your submission. Although we’ve decided not to use it for the coming issue, we appreciate your thinking of us, and hope you’ll continue reading Cerise Press. Please enjoy the most recent issue at: http://www.cerisepress.com/ We wish you all the best in your future work. Warmly, Sally Molini, Fiona Sze-Lorrain &...
Last night I went to the theatre with the woman whose father invented syndicated television and the woman whose father invented the pacemaker. Obviously, they’re much older than I, in their 50s, but it made me realize that I don’t have any friend my own age with the same credentials. Is it because this type of inventing doesn’t exist anymore? Is it because the days of slightly...
Reason #2011 Why I Miss My Parents
This is how they do New Year’s Eve. Were going to be at home and probably set the alarm to go off at 11:45 so we can watch the ball drop and then go to bed about 12:30 AM. Happy New Year everyone! May it be filled with laughter and forgetting.