For the past few years, I’ve lived my life under the premise that the plan was not to make a plan. Let the wind blow me where it may. Let the currents push me out and back.

I’m not sure that’s working for me anymore.

A few friends of mine made some pretty awesome 2012 plans. A list of goals might be a better way to describe it. They’re ambitious and admirable. They include starring in a Pixar or Disney cartoon. I love it.

“I’m gonna make one, too,” I thought. 

That was two weeks ago, and my page is still blank, the space behind 1, 2, 3 and 4 judging me failure.

I’m surrounded by successful people. People who have made something out of nothing. One close friend has fought her way tooth and nail, from freelance jobs and shitty teaching gigs, to an editorial position at one of the coolest magazines on the planet. I couldn’t be more proud.

Another, started her own business, an online jewelry store (check it out, it’s awesome — www.thefancyaffair.com) after the retail store she worked for went out of business. I couldn’t be more honored to know this person.

From the ground on up.

I think it’s my turn now. The wheel is turning. Albeit the hamster is struggling in the wheel, but goddammit I’m gonna figure this out.